The Hardest Thing
by Guardian of the Clow Cards
Summary: Rukia tells Ichigo a secret that no one else knew. What happens when Rukia was forced to give up her only child so that it could be protected and not have to live the life of a Soul Reaper? IR Sorry about shortness.
1. Secrets

**The Hardest Thing**

**Summary:** Rukia tells Ichigo a secret that no one else knew. What happens when Rukia was forced to give up her only child so that it could be protected and not have to live the life of a Soul Reaper?

**A/N:** My first Bleach fic so please be nice and tell me what you think.

**Main Couple:** Ichigo/Rukia

**Disclaimer:** Bleach ain't mine. Rukia's baby is.

**Warnings:** OOCness and mentions of rape

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**The Hardest Thing**

**Chapter 1**

**Secrets**

Rukia was acting rather strange, Ichigo thought that day after school ended and the Christmas holidays had begun. She hasn't spoken to anyone, not even Orohime, or rather yet me... I wonder if everything is alright...?

Ichigo watched in the shadows as Rukia packed her books in her bag and continued on her way. He thought he was being mysterious but... "You can come out Ichigo, I know you're there."

The blond high school student merely sweatdropped and stepped out of the Shadows. "How did you know I was there?"

Rukia merely rolled her eyes. "Please, I could hear you're breathing a mile away. So, why were you spying on me, Ichigo?"

Ichigo Kurosaki was at a loss for words on this one. "Well... you were sort of.. acting weird, I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Rukia smiled inwardly. 'He may be mad and serious all of the time,' she thought. 'But he has a good heart.'

"I'm fine, Ichigo," she replied. "You needn't worry about me."

"You sure?" Ichigo asked, skeptically. "You haven't taked to anyone all day... it's like you've been avoiding people... and I haven't seen you in nine months, what's up?"

'So he noticed I was gone,' Rukia thought to herself. Sighing, she turned to him. "Ichigo, can I trust you to keep a secret that shouldn't even be shared?"

Ichigo blinked. "Sure, I don't tell anyone's secrets."

Rukia smiled, knowing she could trust him. "Not here..."

"Then maybe at home?" Ichigo asked. "No one's there."

Rukia nodded and they walked home in silence. Orihime tried to invite them over, but they said Rukia had a lot of homework to catch up on and Ichigo was helping her and so they would talk to her tomorrow sometime. Orihime merely sighed and walked home with Tatsuki.

When the two reached home, Ichigo locked the door to his room and shut the blind on the windows. "So, what's up?" he asked. He then noticed she had become rather silent. "Rukia?" he asked.

"Ichigo... the reason I was gone for nine months..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, you know the day I went to see Orihime and Tatsuki?"

Ichigo nodded silently, listening intently to Rukia's story. Maybe this would explain what was wrong with Rukia and why she was acting so strangely...

"Well on my way..." she paused. "Some men in black, there were three of them... they tossed me into an alley. I tried to fight back but my power hadn't returned so..." she paused again. This was extremely hard for her, having to relive the memory of that horrible night. She hated the nightmares. She hated what she had done... she hated everything about it... that one night that ruined her life forever...

"I was raped, Ichigo."

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**A/N:** My first Bleach fic ever:) Pleaseeee give me feedback, not flames... :) -prays-


	2. More Secrets

**A/N:** My first Bleach fic and seven reviews! Yay! Thanks so much. Oh and thanks for the corrections, it just looked like he had blond hair... xP Anyways... If I got anything else wrong PLEASE let me know. Sorry for the shortness, I try to make them as long as I can! 

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

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**The Hardest Thing**

**Chapter 2**

**More Secrets**

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Ichigo Kurosaki stood there in complete shock as Rukia looked down at her feet, wondering what Ichigo would say. Would he call her a disgrace, or worse perhaps?

Thoughts were zooming around inside Ichigo's head at the speed of light. Why wasn't he there to save her? Why was he too stupid to not sense that she was in danger somehow? Why wasn't he there? Why didn't he protect her?

When Ichigo looked at Rukia, he noticed her knees were about to give away on her, so he caught her before she fell. "Ichigo…" she whispered and he silenced her by putting a hand up.

"Don't you dare think I'm abandoning you, Rukia," Ichigo said, which caused Rukia to look up at him in shock. "It's not your fault what happened."

"But I couldn't… defend myself and…" Rukia was silenced again by a finger to her lips. "Ichigo…"

"Believe me when I say it's not your fault," Ichigo tried to tell her. "It's the damn people who did this to you. That's who's to blame for all this. But… why were you gone for nine months, Rukia?"

Rukia looked down again, or tried to at least. She felt a hand under her chin and pulling it up so that she was looking into Ichigo's eyes. "Ichigo… the reason I was gone for so long after the rape…" she paused slightly.

"Rukia, are you alright?" Ichigo asked. He watched as her eyes teared up she collapsed onto Ichigo, crying. He held her in his grasp and sat down on the bed with her in his arms, trying to calm her down by merely rocking her back and forth.

"Rukia…?" he whispered in concern for the female Soul Reaper.

"I-Ichigo," Rukia hiccuped slightly. "The reason I was gone for nine long months. I went to stay at a hotel to hide from it all and everyone else in the world. A few days after the rape, I began to feel nauseous, dizzy, headaches, and even get sick every morning. So I did a test … and I found out I was…"

Ichigo certainly didn't like where this was going. Rukia kept pausing an awful lot, and he noticed she was trying to hold back her tears and sobs. He held her gently in his arms as she cried and she looked up at him tearfully.

"I-I was pregnant, Ichigo…"

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**A/N: Wow, another chapter:) Expect another tomorrow. I may not get another one out Wednesday or Thursday because I go back to school on Wednesday, and I'm not allowed on the internet schooldays except Friday... so yeah... xP Review! Oh, and since a new semester begins for me in February, I'll be updating a lot more, if it's not finished by then, because I have an off period, no class! Yay!**


	3. I’m Coming

**_The Hardest Thing_**

**_Chapter 3_**

**_I'm Coming_**

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Ichigo had to lean against the wall. So much was shocking him today. He didn't know Rukia could bring so many surprises into one's life.

"You…You're…" he gaped like a fish.

"I was pregnant," Rukia corrected.

"Was…oh yeah," Ichigo sweatdropped. "So…what did you do?"

"When I found out I was pregnant?" Rukia asked and Ichigo nodded. "Well… I was shocked at first. About a dozen emotions were flying through my head along with questions on what to do about it. I contemplated on these: adoption, abortion, or keep the baby and raise it myself. As you can see, there is no baby with me at the moment."

"So… you did one of the others," Rukia nodded at Ichigo.

"I gave it up for adoption. See, if a Soul Reaper has a child, then they have to become Soul Reapers as well when they are of age. I don't want my child to become a Soul Reaper. So I gave it away so it could have a better life."

"Oh Rukia…"

Rukia started crying again, and Ichigo wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better. But he then thought of something. "Hey… do you know if the baby was adopted yet?"

Rukia shook her head. "I don't even know where it was taken." She said sadly.

Ichigo merely held her as she cried on his shoulder. He didn't know what to say to her. He had never comforted anyone in his entire life. But a sudden question popped into his head. One he had to get answered.

"Rukia…"

"Yea?" A sniffle was heard from his chest where Rukia's head lay.

"Was it a boy or a girl?"

Rukia blinked. "You want to know?" she asked, a little surprised by his question.

"Of course."

Rukia smiled, leaning in against Ichigo's chest as his grip tightened around her.

Just thinking about her baby, without her rightful mother to care for her. It brought more tears to her eyes.

She almost didn't say anything, because she feared she would break down crying just saying what the baby's gender was.

Ichigo merely held her, waiting patiently, which was odd for him. This must have brought out some protective feelings for Ichigo, considering his own mother had been…

"My baby girl is out there all alone, Ichigo," Rukia whispered and Ichigo's eyes widened when he heard the gender. "I have to find her. I have to."

"Don't worry," Ichigo whispered as he held her. "I'll help you find her. We'll look for her together. I promise you, Rukia Kuchiki, we will find your baby girl."

Rukia smiled as her eyes began to close and she started to fall asleep in Ichigo's arms.

_'I'm coming,'_ Rukia thought._ 'Don't worry, your mother's coming. I won't let you down. Not again. I refuse.'_

That was Rukia Kuchiki's last thought as she fell asleep.

Ichigo held Rukia as she slept, but eased down so that he was laying on his bed with her in his arms. He moved her so that she was laying on the bed as well, with himself beside her. He couldn't believe that she had gone through this alone. If she had told someone when she first discovered she was pregnant, would it have turned out differently than this?

_'I'll help you Rukia Kuchiki,'_ Ichigo thought._ 'I'll help you find your baby. For you, and to make my own mother happy.'_

Those were Ichigo Kurosaki's lasts thoughts as he too fell asleep, his head resting on Rukia's shoulder, a determined expression on his face as he wondered what tomorrow would bring.

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**A/N:** Hello! Yet another chapter from me. Longer than the last two! Yay! I hope you're all enjoying this so far. This time, no cliffhanger endings. Or so I think. I don't consider it a cliffie, that's just my thinking... anyway... review please!


	4. Searching

**_The Hardest Thing_**

**_Chapter Four_**

**_Searching_**

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It had been a week after Rukia told Ichigo the news. They hadn't gone to school, and everyone wondered why, because usually Rukia and Ichigo were almost always at school But that was besides the point. Today, Ichigo and Rukia were doing a bit of searching on the internet to look up orphanages in Tokyo or even all of Japan if that be where the baby girl of Rukia Kuchiki was.

Rukia herself has been awfully stressed lately. Every chance she got to be alone she would go for long walks just to think. Everytime she saw a family with a young baby girl, she would think of Ichigo, herself and her own child, wondering if that's what they would have been like if they had a family.

Now that she thought about it, she wondered why she had given up her daughter in the first place. Sure, she didn't want her baby to live the life of a Soul Reaper, but Ichigo and herself could prevent that from happening…somehow. She hoped. Now all she concentrated on was finding her, no matter what that took. She would do anything if, for a moment, she could lay eyes on her.

She made her way into the house and walked up to Ichigo's room to find him typing away at the computer. "Ichigo, did you find anything yet?" she asked, going to stand by his side as her eyes scanned the computer and whatever website he was on.

"Naw, none of these kids were born on the same day as your baby, and they don't even have the same last name," Ichigo replied. "There's only one place in Tokyo that we have left to search, and if she's not there, then she could be anywhere in Japan by now."

That thought didn't please Rukia one little bit, even if it was a possibility. But she would search at every orphanage, every house, every school, every country, if that was what it took.

"Alright," was Rukia's short reply and walked outside of the house once again. A headache was coming onto her, and she needed another walk to get rid of it. Walks helped her these days. No matter what it may be.

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_//Orphanage//_

"Oh what an adorable child," the owner of the orphanage said as she glanced down at the child in the crib. It had a streak of black hair, and you couldn't tell her eye color because she was currently sleeping soundly. "Who would give up such a precious child?"

"I don't think the mother had any choice in the matter," another man said, who had delivered the baby to the orphanage. "She was very serious and stressed out. She said she wanted the baby protected at all costs."

"Protected?" the woman asked. "From what?"

The man shook his head. "She didn't say, and she did not even take a look at the baby, for that would have made her want to keep it more, she said, and she sent her away without a glance."

"Oh the poor mother…" the woman whispered. "Well don't worry, our orphanage is one of the best. We will make sure she is well protected against anything."

The man merely nodded and the woman before taking his leave.

"Now, they didn't give you a name, did they, little one?" the woman smiled as she carefully lifted the baby up and into her arms. "How about…Sasuki...Sasuki Kuchiki, that has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" the woman smiled warmly.

"Welcome home, Sasuki Kuchiki."

With that, the woman took the baby inside the orphanage.

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** A/N:** I am soooo shocked! Thank you all so much, as well as for the feedback. ;) I needed that. I have only seen sixteen episodes of Bleach so... -sweatdrop- But I know pretty much all of the characters because of fanfics I read and searching up pictures of them on google. :P Stupid but it pays off. Review please!


	5. Seeing You Again

_**The Hardest Thing**_

_**Chapter 5**_

_**Seeing You Again**_

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It has been seven years since Rukia Kuchiki gave up her only daughter so that she would not have to life the life of a soul reaper. Rukia never forgot about her, nor did Ichigo, no matter if nobody knew what she looked like. The girl had been well protected, just like Rukia had thought, and there had been no chance of her or Ichigo finding her in any orphanage. She was out of their reach.

Rukia was taking a walk on that fateful day. She walked past the orphanage but could not help to take a peek inside, at all the lonely children who suffered greatly without parents. Ichigo told her that the best place for abandoned kids to go was the orphanage, but she didn't think that the kids liked it too much. Some of them, anyway.

On her way back to Ichigo's house, she was not watching where she had been going, and so in turn, she fell to the ground head first after she collided with another person.

When Rukia opened her eyes, the person that lay in front of her turned out to be a little girl. She looked to be less than ten years old, possibly around the age of seven. Rukia smiled slightly. "I'm sorry about that, are you alright?" she asked kindly, offering the girl a hand.

"Um yes, I'm fine," the girl replied, looking up at Rukia. "Arigatou," she said after she took the offered and Rukia helped her get back onto her feet.

But what surprised Rukia the most was the girl's appearance. Short and skinny, with short bluish black hair and dark blue eyes. Her clothes were all muddy and torn slightly, but that didn't appear to bother the girl. But what bothered Rukia was not only the fact that the girl looked exactly like her, was the few bruises on her left cheek and a black eye that looked like it was healing better.

"Where do you live?" Rukia asked kindly, smiling. "I could take you home if you like. It's not safe to travel alone after dark."

"I like walking alone in the dark," the girl replied. "Actually, I like walking whenever I want. It helps clearing my mind, helps me think better."

Rukia smiled slightly. "Well, you and I have something in common."

"You mean you were walking for the same reason I was?"

"Yes, but I guess I was not looking where I was going," Rukia laughed slightly. "So, would you like company on your way home?"

The girl smiled. "Yes, thank you." She said. Rukia found her awfully polite for a seven year old... well, she actually did not know how old she was, or even her name, for that matter.

"What's your name?" the girl asked, smiling brightly.

"Rukia Kuchiki," Rukia replied. "What's yours?"

The girl's eyes widened slightly but made sure Rukia didn't see._ 'She... she has my last name!'_ the girl thought. _'Could we be related... somehow? That would be nice... Knowing I had a family...'_

"My name is Sasuki... Sasuki Kime."

Rukia's smile faltered slightly when she realized they didn't have the same last name._ 'I guess she wasn't the one after all…'_ Rukia thought sadly, but took the girl towards her home anyway. When she found out she lived at the local orphanage, her eyes widened. "You live in an orphanage?" Rukia asked.

Sasuki nodded. "I never knew my parents or what happened to them. Ever since I became aware of the world around me I was here. Probably since before I was even a year old."

Rukia coughed slightly. "Erm... Sasuki, when's your birthday?"

Sasuki was slightly confused. "…Why?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." That was Rukia's only response.

"My birthday is September 13th," Sasuki replied. "You?"

Rukia's spirits and hope lit up quite high. _'Why, that's when I had my daughter! I have got to tell Ichigo to look into this.'_ She then realized she had not answered Sasuki's question.

"Oh sorry. Mine is January 14," Rukia smiled.

They walked the rest of the way into the orphanage in silence. Sasuki and Rukia kept stealing glances at one another, hoping the other did not notice. "Here we are," Sasuki said. "Thanks a lot, Rukia. I hope we see each other again!"

"We probably will," Rukia smiled. "If we like walking so much."

Sasuki giggled slightly and waved as she ran into her home and up to her room on the third floor of the orphanage, smiling down at Rukia from her bedroom window as she watched the woman walk off to Ichigo Kurosaki's house to look up information on Sasuki Kime.

Just who was she, and why did she look so much like Rukia?

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**A/N: **Hm… I had a tough decision when naming this chapter. It was either 'Seeing you again' or 'Lost then found'. xP I am actually glad I chose this title. But hey. I got Rukia's birthday date from Wikipedia dot org, which is a great information data site. I just made up Sasuki's b-day. xP Anyway, review! This chapter is longer than the last three. Hope you like. Oh, and you will also find out why Sasuki lied about her last name next chapter, unless you can figure out why.


	6. Finding You

_**The Hardest Thing**_

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Finding You**_

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"Ichigo!" Rukia exclaimed as she ran into the house and closed the door. She ran up to Ichigo's room, clearly out of breath, panting heavily and grinning wildly. "You have to research something for me!"

Ichigo Kurosaki turned towards his friend. She was smiling, which meant something good had happened. Did something happen with her baby? "Rukia, what happened?"

Rukia smiled and sat down in a chair, bringing it next to Ichigo. "You could say that." She grinned. "I met someone when I was walking."

"Who?" Ichigo asked. "Someone I know?"

Rukia shook her head. "I don't even know her. But Ichigo, you must look up her name for me."

Ichigo nodded. "Alright, let's do this. So, what's her name?"

"Her name is Sasuki Kime and she's seven years old."

"Kime...?"

"I know she said a different last name, but she has the same birthday as my baby girl!" Rukia exclaimed.

"Which was when...?"

"September 22nd."

Ichigo nodded and looked up at the screen. "Uhm... Rukia, it says that in the local orphanage there is no such name as Sasuki Kime."

"What?! But that's where I took her!" Rukia exclaimed.

Ichigo paled as he read the names of the kids at the orphanage. "Rukia, there's not a last name with Kime. But there is..."

He was silent and Rukia tried to talk to him. "Ichigo, Ichigo! What's the name?"

She pushed Ichigo off the chair, making him land on the ground with a thud as Rukia sat on the chair, taking Ichigo's seat and looked at the name.

Her face also paled. "Oh my god..."

Ichigo stood up. "Rukia..."

"If that's her, then why couldn't we find her before? We searched this orphanage a week after I had her and she should've been at the orphanage by then!" Rukia exclaimed.

"Maybe there was no rooms or something," Ichigo stated. "There could be a few reasons why we couldn't find her. The important thing is, we found her now."

Rukia smiled. "Ichigo?" she asked.

Ichigo turned to look at her from his place on the floor. "Hm?"

"Thank you," she smiled. "Without you, I would never have found her."

Ichigo smiled and hugged her tightly. She sighed and buried her face in his chest, closing her eyes and breathing in softly. "You don't need to thank me, Rukia. You're my friend."

Rukia smiled and she soon fell asleep in his arms.

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A/N: Review! Sorry about the shortness. Gotta go tape General Hospital and get in the shower.


	7. I Want To Live With You

**A/N:** I have decided that Sasuki ('Kime') Kuchiki's birthday will be on September 13th, so that there's no confusions. Arigatou for reviewing everyone, and for making my first Bleach fic such a huge success!

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**_The Hardest Thing_**

**_Chapter 7_**

**_I Want To Live With You_**

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The next day, Ichigo was up and at work once again on the computer, looking up information on Sasuku _'Kime'_. She must have been looked after very well, because it was hard enough to dig up any information about the girl. It made him so frustrated that he almost ripped out all of his orange hair, but he had to do this ... for Rukia.

Rukia herself had become a lot happier. Now that she had seen what she desperately hoped to be her daughter once again, she was happy because she was in the city ... even if it was in an orphanage.

They were both saddened that they couldn't find any information about the little girl. Rukia was also angered because she had dropped the girl off at her own home! So why wouldn't they have any information on her? It ... it didn't make any sense.

Rukia tried to visit Sasuki day after day, but the owner of the orphanage always said the same thing. "There's no one here with that name, now go away!" she sounded almost ... almost like she was trying to hide something. But why would they 'want' to keep Sasuki, when her mother is still alive and wants her back more than anything in the world?

"Rukia?" a quiet voice asked. The Soul Reaper looked up to see Ichigo looking down on her with a concerned expression written upon his features. "Are you alright?"

"It's ... not fair, Ichigo," Rukia whispered. "I go and see her ... well, try to, every day at the orphanage! But the owner always says that there's no one by that name there!"

"Did you try using your last name?" Ichigo asked and she nodded. "Yes, I've tried everything I can think of, but they just won't let me in!" she exclaimed angrily.

"Hey don't worry ... maybe she'll go out walking again ... didn't you say she did that often?" Ichigo asked, then Rukia's expression brightened. "Oh yes! Thank you, Ichigo!"

Ichigo merely chuckled before watching her walk off, hoping to find her along the way. _'Good luck, Rukia ...'_

* * *

Rukia Kuchiki had walked everywhere across the town. But there were no traces of Sasuki anywhere. It was like she had never existed. For the short few minutes that they had spoken, Rukia had felt a strong bond with the girl, and she wondered if Sasuki felt that as well. But for now, all she concentrated on was 'finding' Sasuki first.

She jumped when she heard a voice call out to her. "Rukia?" they whispered. She turned around to see ... Sasuki!

Her expression instantly brightened when she saw Sasuki, but a frown appeared upon her features as she saw how dirty and torn her clothes were. She had a bruise forming on her right cheek. Rukia walked over and gently put a hand on her shoulder, kneeling down to face the young girl's level. "What happened?" she asked kindly.

Sasuki was in tears. "Oh, it was horrible, Rukia!" she cried. "The boys ... three of them ... from the orphanage ... they're bullies ..." she trailed off.

Rukia's eyes widened and she held the girl in her arms as she cried. "Shh... it's okay now."

"I want to live with you, Rukia," she whispered and cried. "It's horrible at the orphanage."

Rukia smiled slightly. "Come on. Let's go to my friend's house and get you cleaned up, ok? Then we'll see what we can do about this."

Sasuki nodded and sniffled slightly, taking Rukia's hand in her grasp tightly as the two walked back to Ichigo's house. "Ichigo!"

"Ichigo left," Karin told them from her place at the kitchen table. "He was worried about you Rukia, you've been gone for quite a while."

Rukia sighed and Sasuki looked up at her. "Rukia?" she asked.

Karin looked over at the kid, just now noticing her. "What's your name?" she asked kindly.

"Sasuki Kime!" she exclaimed.

"I'm here to get her cleaned up ... she got into a spot of trouble," Rukia explained and Karin nodded. "Well, the bathroom's free, so go on up and help yourselves." She stated and got up from her place, walking up to her room.

"Who was that?" Sasuki asked.

"My friend's sister, her name is Karin," Rukia explained.

"Who's your friend?"

"His name is Ichigo."

"And he's standing right behind you!"

Rukia shrieked as she felt arms wrap around her, lifting her off the ground. "Ichigo Kurosaki, **PUT ME DOWN!**" she laughed.

Ichigo chuckled and released her from his grasp. "So ..." he trailed off, finally noticing Sasuki. He kneeled down to her level. "You must be Sasuki, am I right?"

Sasuki nodded, a little shy now.

"Well, welcome to the house. Want me to show you around?" Ichigo grinned.

Sasuki giggled. "We're going to get her cleaned up first, later maybe, Ichigo," Rukia told him and he nodded, finally noticing the bruise that was on her cheek and her torn clothes. "All right. Bathroom's free. Though..."

"Though what?" Rukia raised an eyebrow.

"I'd wait about half-an-hour before I go in there again," Ichigo joked and Rukia threw a nearby apple at his head.

"Not funny, Ichigo! That's just gross!"

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**A/N:** Heheh... some humor in this chapter! Yay! Hope to see you all reviewing!...Now!


	8. Don't Do It!

**A/N:** I thought I would update it again when I have 50 reviews, but I had an idea and decided to use it before time ran out and I forgot about it! So... enjoy! ALL mistakes will be fixed and the story re-vamped and spell-checked when it's finished. 

**Disclaimer:** I own Lila Bunko and Sasuki 'Kime' Kuchiki. That is all... for now.

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**_The Hardest Thing_**

**_Chapter 8_**

**_Don't Do It_**

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Taking Ichigo's advice, they waited half-an-hour before going into the washroom. Rukia took Sasuki by the hand to get her cleaned up. Ichigo suggested that they take some of Yuzu's old clothes from when she was little, they had given all or most of Karin's away. So now they were both in the washroom, talking, with the exception of Rukia cleaning Sasuki.

"Rukia?" Sasuki asked, at last breaking the silence that had begun ten minutes ago. Rukia had finished cleaning her up and turned as she got dressed in her new clothes.

"Yes?" she asked a little curiously.

"Why do you live here?" Sasuki asked. "Don't you have your own home?"

Rukia flinched slightly. "I do ... but ... it's far away. So when I came here I stayed with my friend Ichigo."

"Oh...I see..." Sasuki said. "He seems very nice. He's funny."

Rukia chuckled slightly. "Yes, he is." Rukia said. "Now, would you like something to eat?"

Sasuki nodded. "Do you guys have rice?"

"I think we can manage that," Rukia offered her hand to Sasuki, who took it and the entered the kitchen. Rukia found some rice and began cooking it. While she waited for it to be done, they both sat at the kitchen table, side by side. Rukia was beginning to see many similarities between her and Sasuki. She just had to be her baby girl... she just **HAD** to be! If she wasn't... then there was no way she could be alive anymore...

"Rukia?" Sasuki asked quietly as she noticed a tear sliding down her cheek. "Are you alright?"

"Hm?" Rukia looked over at Sasuki, smiling a fake smile. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh ... alright then," Sasuki replied.

"So..." a few minutes of silence passed between them once again. "Would you like to tell me what happened?" Rukia asked.

"At the orphanage?" Sasuki asked, and Rukia nodded silently.

"Well..."

All was silent once again, and Rukia thought at once Sasuki didn't trust her in telling her what happened. But then she began speaking, much to Rukia's shock.

She was just glad Ichigo was out, she didn't want him overhearing this.

"Well... there are three bullies at the orphanage," Sasuki explained. "One's tall and skinny, one's medium height and fat, the last is small but very tough. All of them have brawn but not brains. Anyways ... they picked me as their top target for bullying just because I was brought into the orphanage on the day I was born."

"That's horrible," Rukia whispered, and Sasuki nodded. "I know... but I live through it..."

"Do the owners of the orphanage know about it?"

Sasuki nodded. "They don't care ... but Lila does..."

"Who's Lila?" Rukia asked.

"She's my stepmother," Sasuki replied, making Rukia's eyes widen. "But... you're at the orphanage?"

"That's only because Lila, or oka-san, desn't have a home of her own," Sasuki replied. "She took me in the day I was brought to the orphange. She's taken very good care of me. She's wanted a child ever since she could remember because she couldn't carry them. Anyway ... today ... after classes, I was cornered by them all ..." she trailed off slightly, expecting a reaction from Rukia, but all she got in return was clenched teeth. "They called me names and beat me..." she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek. Rukia noticed this and lifted Sasuki up gently, placing her in her lap. "So that's why you wanted to stay with me..."

Sasuki nodded. "Yes... but Lila would miss me ... and I don't want to hurt her by staying with someone else after she's taken such good care of me... she has no one else... no man wants her because she can't bear children... that's what she told me..."

"That's not true," Rukia said. "She'll find someone. Not every man is like that, Sasuki. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Sasuki smiled. The rice was finally ready, so Rukia set two plates out on the table and got utensils and drinks. They then both began eating in silence. Sasuki sat beside Rukia, feeling a lot more comfortable and warm towards her now that she had told her about the bullies. Except their names, which were Jake, Michael, and Sam. But other than that...

When they were both done eating, Rukia put the dishes in the sink and Sasuki took a glance at the clock. It was nearing five o' clock in the afternoon. "I had better be getting back to the orphanage. Lila must be worried about me."

Rukia nodded reluctantly. "Would you ... like me to walk you back home?"

Sasuki looked over at Rukia and nodded. "Thank you, Rukia."

Rukia merely smiled. "Anytime."

* * *

Lila Bunko was extremely worried. Sasuki had gone for her annual walk around the town, and she usually took about an hour or two. But she had been gone for five hours. **_Five hours_**! She was beginning to get frantic, and was about to call the police, if it hadn't been for a knock at her door at the orphanage about ten minutes later.

She rushed over to open the door and sighed when she saw Sasuki. "Where on Earth have you been?" she asked. "I was worried sick. You were gone five hours! **FIVE**!"

"I'm sorry, oka-san, but I met my friend again and she invited me over to her house for some lunch," Sasuki replied. "I guess I lost track of time is all. I'm sorry I worried you."

Lila merely sighed and hugged her tightly. "Please call me next time if you plan to stay at a friend's."

Sasuki merely nodded. She adored this woman. She was her idol. She had long, flowing redish orange hair that went past down her waist. She had dark brown eyes and white, pale skin. She had a tattoo of a red rose on her left arm for whatever reason Sasuki didn't know. Perhaps she got it when she was younger and had her parents money... but she was a goddess in Sasuki's opinion. Completely beautiful. Excluding the fact that she couldn't have children. Actually, Lila had told Sasuki she did have a child, a baby boy at one point, ten years ago, and she had given him up for adoption on the day that he was born because she couldn't afford to look after him, and she was scared that she might lose him. So she gave him away...

"Alright then," Lila said, breaking the silence between them. "Where did you get your clothes?"

* * *

Rukia stayed behind, peeking in through the window of the orphanage at Lila and Sasuki's room, which was on the first floor. She was met with a breathtaking sight. Why wouldn't anyone want this woman? She was beautiful... at least in Rukia's opinion. Reddish orange hair that flew past her waist, dark brown eyes, pale skin ... and was that a rose tattoo on her left arm?

She jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Ichigo, you scared me. Don't do that."

Ichigo merely chuckled. "Sorry about that. Anyway, who's that in the room with Sasuki?"

"That's her stepmother, Lila."

"...Rukia..."

"I'm fine, Ichigo," Rukia replied, giving him a fake smile. "I see that she adores her, and would rather live with her than with her own mother." With a powerful stride of her legs, she ran off into the city.

"Rukia, wait!" Ichigo yelled. "Are you crazy?! You could get yourself..." he paused. "Oh no! Rukia, don't!"

Ichigo came to the sudden realization that because Rukia knew Sasuki adored Lila, that she wouldn't want to know who her biological mother was... that must have been a stab to the heart... and now...

...Rukia Kuchiki was going to kill herself.

"Rukia, don't do this!" Ichigo stated as he finally found her. She was leaning against a tree, holding a knife to her wrist. "Please...don't. ...I love you."

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**A/N:** Nyah!! Was that a cliffhanger or what? Plus, I expect over 50 reviews before I update this again!! Who knows, maybe an even **LONGER** chapter will be in the works. **REVIEW**!!


	9. I Love You

**A/N**: ...Yay! 58 reviews:) Here's the next chapter, as promised. Though it's shorter than the other one. 

**Disclaimer:** I own Lila Bunko and Sasuki 'Kime' Kuchiki.

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_**The Hardest Thing**_

_**Chapter 9**_

_**I Love You**_

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The knife barely grazed at Rukia's wrist before she heard those words come from Ichigo's mouth. "Rukia, don't do this!" he had pleaded. "Please...don't. ...I love you."

That was just enough to make her drop the knife to the ground, her hands shaking as she realized what she had just tried to do to herself. She put her head in her hands, collapsed to the ground, leaned against the tree and began crying.

Ichigo sighed, thankful that she was alive, and ran over to her, bringing her into his grasp. She leaned against him, burying her face in his chest, crying her eyes out. "I'm such a fool..."

"No Rukia," Ichigo whispered. "No you're not."

"Ichigo, you do realize what I was just about to do, don't you?" Rukia asked.

"Yes ... but you didn't do it," Ichigo said. "That's what's important."

Rukia smiled slightly, leaning her head against his chest. "Did you really mean what you said?"

"...About what?"

"You know what I mean."

Ichigo merely smiled. "Yes, I did."

Rukia smiled. "I love you too..." she whispered as she fell asleep, exhausted. Ichigo looked down at her with a small smile as he carried her off to his house. He placed her on the bed before going out of the room and to go to the computer. He had to search up information on Sasuki _'Kime'_, or else ...

I just had to do something, he thought to himself as he typed on the computer, researching information. He wasn't doing this for himself, he was doing this for Rukia. She had tried to kill herself because her daughter had a stepmother... that she loved more than Rukia... she must be heart broken. But they had to let Sasuki know that she had a real mother out there.

* * *

Lila and Sasuki were happily enjoying some lunch as Sasuki was on the computer, on the internet. Lila watched her a little. She was concerned for her stepdaughter. She was unnaturally depressed ever since she had gotten home from her friends' house. Lila assumed she must really liked it over there... and the people.

She decided to do something about it. "Sasuki?" she asked after moments of silence, causing the girl to look up from her computer and over to her. "Yes, oka-san?" she asked, wondering what she was going to say.

"Why don't you go down to your friend's house today?" Lila asked. Sasuki's face instantly brightened.

"You mean it, oka-san?" Sasuki asked.

"Of course, musume," Lila smiled in reply. Sasuki squealed and hugged her to death before thanking her and walking off to her friends house.

Lila sighed as she turned off the computer... wait a sec... what was this? She saw something on the computer that made her eyes widen and her face pale drastically.

_'Kuchiki, Rukia'_

She was looking for her mother...

...and she had found her.

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Sasuki made her way to Rukia and Ichigo's house with a smile on her face. She couldn't wait to tell them what she had found out! She was happy that her mother was alive. It was even more of a shock to her that she was in the same town. She still didn't know why she had been abandoned... Rukia had seemed so nice and friendly, a perfect mother figure in Sasuki's eyes. And her friend Ichigo was nice too. Same with Karin.

She walked to Ichigo's house in silence. She had a good memory so she remembered where he lived. She noticed someone following her and tried to avoid them.

When she realized she was no longer being followed, a sigh of relief escaped her as she soon found herself at Ichigo and Rukia's house. She slowly knocked on the door and Karin answered. "Oh it's you again," Karin said in greeting. "Are you here to see Rukia?"

Sasuki nodded. Karin nodded in understanding and let the girl inside, not knowing what she was to find inside...

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**A/N:** Yay, I updated. I was actually hoping for sixty reviews when I found out I had fifty eight, but oh well. Thanks to all who reviewed and made this a perfect success! And this story is slowly but surely coming to it's close. I plan to make it twelve chapters. So review please!


	10. I Just Wanna Live

**A/N:** Wow. 67 reviews! Thanks so much. Sorry for the wait, I've been roleplaying a lot lately. 

**Disclaimer**: I own Lila Bunko and Sasuki 'Kime' Kuchiki.

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_The Hardest Thing_

_Chapter 10_

_I Just Wanna Live_

_I need an alarm system in my house  
So I know when people are creepin' about  
These people are freakin' me out (these days)  
It's getting hectic everywhere that I go _

_They won't leave me alone  
There's things they all wanna know  
I'm paranoid about the people I meet  
Why are they talkin' to me  
And why can't anyone see_

_I just wanna live  
Don't really care about the things that they say  
Don't really care about what happens to me  
I just wanna live_

_Just wanna live (6x)_

_I rock a law suit when I'm goin' to court  
A white suit when I'm getting divorced  
A black suit at the funeral home  
And my birthday suit when I'm home alone  
Talking on the phone _

_Got an interview with the Rolling Stone  
They're sayin' "Now you're rich and now you're famous fake ass girls all know your name and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,  
Your first hit it, aren't you ashamed  
Of the life, of the life, of the life  
We're livin"_

_I just wanna live  
Don't really care about the things that they say  
Don't really care about what happens to me  
I just wanna live_

_Stop the messin' around boy  
Better think of your future  
Better make some good plans boy  
Said every one of my teachers  
Look out, you better play it safe  
You never know what hard times will come your way  
We say, where we're comin' from  
We've already seen the worst that this life can bring_

_Now we expect it everywhere that we go  
All the things that they say  
Yeah we already know_

_I just wanna live  
Don't really care about the things that they say  
Don't really care about what happens to me_

_(Just wanna live 3x)_

_I just wanna live (just wanna live 3x)  
I just wanna live (just wanna live 3x)  
Don't really care about the things that they say (just wanna live 3x)  
Don't really care about what happens to me I just wanna live  
I just wanna live -Good Charlotte_

* * *

When Karin took Sasuki in, she was wondering where Rukia and Ichigo were, that is until she heard Karin yelling. "Ichigo, Rukia! You have a visitor!"

Footsteps were heard moments later and she saw Rukia and Ichigo come downstairs. Rukia smiled and walked over to Sasuki, hugging her to bits.

"How are you?" she whispered. Sasuki noticed she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt...what happened? She always used to wear short sleeves.

"I'm fine," Sasuki replied with a smile.

"That's good, I was beginning to get a little worried," Rukia replied.

"Why?"

"Oh...no reason."

To tell the truth she was incredibly worried that she had been replaced by Lila. But she didn't dare think or say anything about that in front of Sasuki. _She probably doesn't know that were mother and daughter..._ Rukia thought with sadness.

Ichigo noticed how sad she looked and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Rukia turned to smile at Ichigo before turning back to Sasuki. "Well, now that you're here, what would you like to do?"

Sasuki merely shrugged and shook her head. "Dunno," she replied honestly. "What do you have to eat? We don't have much at the orphange, so we use what we can and save the rest."

Rukia nodded in understanding. "Well, just pick something from the fridge, or we can make something from scratch."

Sasuki nodded and thought for a moment. "Um... Ramen?"

Rukia smiled. "That your favorite food?" she asked curiously.

"Yup!"

Rukia and Ichigo both laughed at that and they went to make Ramen for everyone.

* * *

Lila looked at the clock on her bedroom wall. It was almost two in the afternoon. No reason to get worried yet, right? She was just spending time with her real mother...

No reason to be worried.

"Ms. Bunko, we have some forms for you to sign,'' the manager and owner of the orphanage said as he walked into her room.

"Oh, alright, Mr. Takai," Lila replied and walked out of the room. _He's been here for as long as I can remember,_ Lila thought to herself. _Does he ever leave this place?_

They walked to another part of the orphanage, away from her part of it, where she lived with Sasuki. But then a smirk appeared on Mr. Takai's face. "You're more easier to trick than I thought."

"W-What?" Lila asked.

"There's no form to sign," Mr. Takai smirked. "But there is a will for you to sign."

"But I-I'm not dying..." Lila replied in a feared whisper.

"Ah... I think I'll have to disagree on that one," Mr. Takai smirked. "Alright boys!"

About two boys, men actually, who Lila had never seen before came into the room. One held a knife, the other held a gun. Lila backed away in fear. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"You don't know that girl's true power when you see it, do you?!" Mr. Takai exclaimed. "Don't tell me you can't see it?! She's a Soul Reaper!"

"W...what?"

"You heard me! You won't let her go anywhere to train, so I'll just have to take care of that."

"You're a sadistic bastard, you know that?!" Lila screamed, finding the courage to talk back all of a sudden.

Mr. Takai merely glared. "Yeah, and proud of it. You'll thank me when that girl becomes a Soul Reaper. Take care of her boys."

The two men walked over to Lila. One grabbed her around the neck and stabbed her in the chest with the knife. The other one shot her in the stomach.

She crumpled to the floor in a heap of blood.

"Nice work, boys. Now, to get to Sasuki before that Soul Reaper Rukia does."

Little did they know however, that they were already too late.

* * *

A/N: I chose this song because both Rukia/Lila merely want to live in peace with Ichigo/Sasuki. Anyway... review replies next chapter. Don't have the time now. Lunch time is almost here and I'm at school. Two more chapters left, by the way. The final and the epliogue. How does Takai know about the Soul reapers? Find out in later chapters.


	11. What's A Soul Reaper?

**A/N:** 73! YAY! Think I can hit 100 before the fic is done?? 

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**The Hardest Thing  
Chapter 11  
What's A Soul Reaper?**

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Mr. Takai smirked. A job well done, he thought to himself. _If the men leave no blood or evidence behind, they won't even notice she's gone, she wasn't popular there anyway..._

This was his thoughts as he made his way to Ichigo Kurosaki's house. The last he checked on the place it seemed quiet...

...too quiet. Too quiet for his liking.

Something must be going on in there, he realized. Maybe the girl already got to her mother, maybe we're too late to get the girl to the Soul Society. The whole reason that Rukia abandoned her in the first place was to keep her safe. But maybe, by chance, they... found her?

Naw. That's not possible.

He was almost at Ichigo's house. He smirked. One down and one to go...

Rukia Kuchiki. The daughter's mother herself. If she was around to interfere, that girl would never undeerstand her true power.

He smirked and kicked down the door to the house.

The only problem?

It was locked.

"Damnit!" he cursed.

* * *

Everyone jumped when they heard the loud bang on the door. Sasuki flew into Rukia's arms, who held her protectively as Ichigo looked towards the door with a glare.

"Damnit," they heard someone hiss.

Rukia's eyes widened. "That voice... where have I heard it before?"

Ichigo looked at the door. "Doesn't sound familiar to me..."

Rukia shook her head and tried to concentrate. "Wait... I know! It's Azme Takai!"

"Who...?"

"He's not a soul reaper, but somehow he knows of them, nobody knows how or why he discovered them... but he was one of the reasons why I had to..." she looked up at Ichigo and he understood. Why she had to give away her daughter.

"Why?"

"Because if he finds them...he'll turn them into Soul Reapers... doesn't care what it takes..."

"Rukia?" Sasuki asked, looking up at her. "Yes?"

"What's a soul reaper?"

Rukia blinked, not sure how to answer her question. Ichigo answered for her.

"A soul reaper... Shinigami if you prefer, are departed human souls that have gained supernatural powers." He then began to explain other things about them, and Sasuki nodded, following along.

"So..you're dead?" she asked Ichigo. Ichigo shook his head.

"No...I'm really what you would call a substitue."

"But a powerful one at that," Rukia told him with a smile.

"Whatever you say," Ichigo said with a shrug.

"So... you're dead, Rukia?" Sasuki asked.

But before any of them had a chance to answer her question, the door was banged down and there stood Azme Takai before them.

"Well well... I assume it's too late... oh well, my plan can still work..." he said to himself.

"Azme, what the hell do you want?!" Rukia yelled, hugging Sasuki protectively, who clutched at her like a life line.

"I want Sasuki... and the only way to do that is to kill her mother." He simply replied.

Sasuki looked at the man fearfully. She didn't like him, not one bit.

"I already took care of Ms...Bunko was it?" he asked with a sneer, causing Rukia's eyes to widen.

"You killed her?!" she yelled and Sasuki blinked, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"You...killed oka-san?"

"No no dear... not yet," Azme laughed. "Your 'oka-san' is right in front of you...or, behind you in this case."

Sasuki turned to look at Rukia, already knowing this however... so it wasn't a shock... nor was it to Ichigo or Rukia...

"Wait... not yet?" Ichigo asked.

Azme laughed. "That girl has unbelievable powers! If she can become a Soul Reaper...there's no telling what she's capable of!"

_I don't want to become a Soul Reaper if this is what it's like,_ Sasuki thought, whimpering and clutching at Rukia.

Azme laughed, merely getting out his sword, ready to attack Rukia. "You have no more powers... you wasted 'em on this kid!" he exclaimed, pointing at Ichigo. "Well... you'll learn from your mistakes. We all do, don't we?"

"You certainly don't."

"Whatever, kid," Azme smirked and ran to attack Rukia with his sword. Rukia pushed Sasuki out of the way and Ichigo took her to hide behind him before punching the man, grabbing his sword. "Don't hurt her," he snarled. "Or you'll never live to tell the tale."

Rukia smiled and breathed a little, relaxing. Ichigo would save them...

...Or...

...Would he?

* * *

**A/N:** One more chapter! Then the epilogue! Waaaaah! Ohhhhhh well... please review!


	12. Saving You

**The Hardest Thing  
Chapter 12  
Saving You**

* * *

Azme was ready to attack Rukia once again, but Ichigo jumped to her rescue, once again and stood in front of her protectively. Sasuki was cowering behind Rukia in fear.

Now that she knew for sure that Rukia was her mother, she never wanted to lose her. She already lost Lila... she couldn't lost her real mother.

"Alright, let's settle this," Ichigo growled. "We duel, but away from the city where no one gets hurt. That includes Rukia and Sasuki."

"But Ichigo-" Rukia was cut off.

"No buts, Rukia," Ichigo said and Azme merely smirked.

"Alright then, but if I win... I get to kill Rukia and keep the child."

Sasuki trembled behind her mother, gripping her hand in fear.

"Fine, but if I win, you leave us alone forever, and never come near Rukia or Sasuki again," Ichigo demanded.

"Alright, I'm a man of my word, let's do this, Kurosaki," Azme smirked.

"Well then, let's go!" Ichigo gave a last glance at the two girls before running out after Azme.

Rukia sighed and collapsed into a chair, holding Sasuki close. "Don't worry, Azme Takai won't get either of us," she promised.

"Promise... mama?"

Rukia smiled tearfully at the name, but nodded. "Yes, I do."

Sasuki smiled and buried her face on Rukia's chest, crying. Rukia ran her hand through her daughter's hair, trying to calm her in any way possible. Sooner or later, Sasuki fell asleep. She smiled and took the girl over to the couch and laid her down on it gently, gazing at her fondly.

_'I've finally found you... my baby,'_ Rukia thought. _'I don't intend to let you slip from my grasp again.'_

There were loud blasts sooner or later. Rukia guessed it was because of the fight between Azme and Ichigo._ 'Oh Ichigo, please be alright...'_ Rukia thought to herself sadly. She loved Ichigo and her daughter more than anything and would die should anything happen to either one of them.

"Mama?" Sasuki whispered tiredly. "What's going on?"

"It's just Ichigo and Azme, dear," Rukia replied. "That's the cause of those blasts... did they wake you?"

Sasuki nodded silently.

"Go back to sleep," Rukia whispered gently. "I'll be right here."

Sasuki smiled and closed her eyes slowly, falling asleep shortly afterwards.

Rukia kept watch of her the whole time, wincing everytime she heard a blast. She hoped Ichigo would come out of this alive... probably not unscarred... _but please alive..._ she thought to herself sadly.

The blasting lasted for at least an hour, and then suddenly it stopped. Rukia began to get worried... did something happen? Is the battle over?

"Ichigo..." Rukia whispered to herself worriedly.

"Rukia! Rukia!" a voice was calling to her.

Rukia smiled. _'Ichigo!'_ she thought to herself, running a hand through Sasuki's hair one more time before running out to see Ichigo, who was just reaching the door, before he landed unconscious.

**"ICHIGO!!"** Rukia exclaimed, dropping to the ground beside him, taking him in her arms. "Ichigo, are you alright?"

"I'm ... fine," Ichigo winced, looking up at her. "Are you?"

Rukia nodded, tears flowing down her face. Ichigo reached up a shaky hand to brush them away. If she didn't get Ichigo to a hospital soon, he would die... he looked so pale..

"Rukia, listen, all I need is some rest," he whispered, his eyes closing.

Rukia nodded and carried him gently in her arms up to his own room, placing him in his bed before going downstairs to check on Sasuki.

The girl was sleeping peacefully on the couch. Rukia smiled and sat down next to her...

...Everything was fine now.

It wasn't exactly fixed, but they could live a better life now... hopefully...

* * *

**END**

**A/N: **Next chapter is the epilogue. I'll start working on it right now!!


	13. Epilogue

**The Hardest Thing  
Epilogue**

* * *

It had been six years since the defeat of Azme, and everyone was back on their feet. Sasuki was in Rukia and Ichigo's custody. Azme wasn't dead, but he was in prison for threatening the lifes of a mother and daughter, and nearly k illing Ichigo. He got a life time sentence, even though that with his superior powers, he was sure to find some way to break out of it.

Rukia was six months pregnant with hers and Ichigo's baby. Sasuki was now thirteen, a teenager, and was excited about having a sister. They weren't going to be Soul Reapers, and Ichigo and Rukia would make sure of that.

Karin and Yuzu had their own boyfriends as well, but no one has met them yet. Ichigo was beginning to think they were just a figment of his sisters' imaginations.

But hey, anything's possible.

On that day, it was Sasuki's birthday. Ichigo and Rukia were planning a party while Tatsuki and Orihime were taking Sasuki out, keeping her away from the house.

Rukia was excited for her daughter. She was thirteen today, which meant that she was a teenager. She'd have to learn many things in life, but she and Ichigo would be there to help her through all of those difficult times, that was for sure.

...Well, for Ichigo, maybe not all of the time.

Tatsuki and Orihime took Sasuki to the movies, and that would give Rukia and Ichigo enough time to plan the party, ask everyone to come and stuff like that.

Ichigo smiled, noticing how happ...ier, Rukia looked. She had started getting this happy when Ichigo had gotten fully healed and they had gotten Sasuki into their custody.

He wouldn't change her happiness...

..well, he would make her more happy.

But he would never let her get hurt again.

* * *

**THE END**

**A/N: AAAAAAAAAND** the story has come to a close!! Waaaaah! Please review though, I wanna reach 100 reviews... today! Hit it!

Now, onto A Future Fairytale! ;)


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